You are not the best year of my life. You had given me a lot of problems, most especially heartaches, that I can’t imagine during your start. I shed a lot of tears (and even cried myself to sleep), gained some weight, had a lot of sleepless nights and stressful days, and other many shitty stuff during your time.
But, I am thankful for you. I got five reasons why.
#1 I was able to be more adventurous with my own life.
I tried a lot of different things. Some are good and some are what my family friends won’t surely approve. I went to different places, pursued what I have always wanted to do before and met new friends along the way.
#2 I learned that I am responsible for my own happiness.
Happiness is a choice. I learned that I should not depend my happiness on others, that I should not cling or depend too much on someone or something for me to be happy.
#3 I started to see my own worth and even knew myself more.
I was scared before. I was scared to be all alone. I was scared to do things on my own. I was scared that no one would ever actually like me again because I was a short, fat and ugly nobody. But eventually, I managed to remove all of those. negative thinking.
I started to do things on my own. I am not scared to be alone. And I know that my physical attributes (which I’m also working on now) can’t be a hindrance. And good thing I did, because it lead me to my reason #1.
I thought of the person I was before and the person I want to be and tried to mix them up. And slowly, I’m trying and working on being that kind of person I should be.
#4 I learned more about love and relationship. And to let go and move on.
I have to admit that reasons #2 and #3 were majorly based on this one. The on and off relationship and the break-up are big highlights of my 2012. I am not a hyprocrite so I admit that I do wished nothing of what I mentioned ever happened. But things like this happen, and after a lot of miserable and crying days, I have learned to rise up again.
Relationships are not purely based on love. There are a lot of factors. Communication, trust, etc. Sadly, I had so many insecurities (reason #3) and became dependent on him (reason #2) too much. And he has his own faults as well.
I think the bravest thing a couple can do, with a relationship like ours, is to admit that it’s really broken and to let go of it before it turns worse. That happened to us, with him initiating it (which I begged not to. FML lol). So yes. I became miserable and depressed after so many weeks (constantly bugging my friends, stalking him + discovering something etc), and eventually got tired and started to let go of him slowly. So hello reasons #1, #2 and #3. And THANK YOU to my friends and family who helped me get through with it!
#5 Major things that happened this year (Quite frankly, I think I might update this list)
- Became an intern to two companies which I learned a lot from (especially MobileMinds) and had a high salary. HAHA. ~ also able to love Ortigas and Makati
- Our family’s pavillion is now open, although my parents are living now at Tarlac.
- Joined different stuff and met new friends and colleagues along the way (which I also learned a lot from)
- Additional programming knowledge!
- Became closer with some of my blockmates and some college and HS friends (for HS, I got the “Kaladkarins” lol)
- Passed thesis and finally graduating this February!
So there. I have no more things to say but… Thank you very much 2012.
From the bottom of my heart, I hate and love you both at the same time.
P.S. You are still a memorable year. Trust me.
And to anyone who’s reading this… Happy New Year! Hope all of us have a great 2013!